Telecom: Mobile Broadband

I love television. And sometimes I love advertisements too. Good adverts have the potential to make me laugh or cry. Often they can be more entertaining than the television program itself.
Now I've always had a theory of what makes for a good advertisement: it's either a good idea done well; or a bad idea done poorly. Conversely, a bad ad is either a good idea done poorly, or a bad idea done well.

Yesterday, as my beloved M*A*S*H was interrupted by the bill-payers, I turned to the important task of updating my facebook status. Halfway through posting my witty one-liner I was distracted by a catchy tune radiating from the television. Looking up I saw hip young people dancing about in an office.



And I hated it.

Why?

It's not that I dislike Elemeno P, or the shenanigans played out by the empolyees at McCullum & Associates. It's just that I don't get this ad. What is it trying to sell me? Is it advertising the risks of excesive drinking? Were Telecom just recording people having a good time? Is it Kiwi music month? There was something about a mobile phone and broadband at the end, but it was the usual crap about connecting people, so I kinda skipped it.

When the billboard campaign proved to be equally baffling, I began to worry. Surely the largest and most trusted communications company in New Zealand wouldn't be deliberately trying to confuse me? (Oh, the irony!)

This could only mean one thing - I am in fact, not as clever as I thought.

Discontent with the idea that I'm not clever enough to understand a freakin' Telecom ad, I set about dissecting the campaign to try to make sense of it. Spawning, as a result, the ad-rage venting that has become this blog.

Telecom Mobile Broadband

It's hard to know where to start talking about this campaign, there are that many things wrong with it. Telecom is actually attempting to promote its mobile broadband service, but it gets a little lost amongst all the happy dancing, skydiving and shy people on the billboards.

Keep it simple

Do you have any idea what these ads are about? The acid test for me was to ask my Mum. She thought the commercial was about "Those MP3 player thingys"

My Mum is not the best with technology, so I thought that might be why she didn't get it. I asked her about another ad selling the same product for different company - and to rub salt in Telecoms wound, Mum knows exactly what Vodafone is selling in this ad.

And you know what? My Mum is right to be confused. How is dancing about in an office relevant to moblie broadband? I mean, you're in an office with dozens of computers. Surely one will have internet access, so why do you need mobile broadband in this environment? Who surfs the net while they skydive? And what about Anna?

WTF is up with those dumb-ass billboards?

The billboards just add to the confusion (excuse the pun). Don't get me wrong, I'm super pleased that Telecom has moved on from the Clever Toys ads (now those were stupid). But what does 'Work the camera Anna' mean? Is the lovely Anna being told to operate the camera, or is someone encouraging her to 'work it' in front of the camera? And why don't these ads say anything about mobile broadband? Remember guys: keep it simple, or I'm back to my status updates. It's a little bit rewarding to crack a small puzzle like a personalized plate plate while I'm stuck in traffic, but when a billboard makes no sense every time you see it, it's going to turn me off the product.

Who are they trying to appeal to?

Perhaps Telecom are trying to appeal to people who are already mobile internet users. Now, if you are a mobile internet user, you're probably well aware of the in's and out's of mobile internet, right? You're probably internet savvy, and have probably trawled enough sites to know that:

• Youtube will not upload a new clip at warp speed while you are parachuting.
  
• The happy dancing ad is a rip off of this (which is much better).
  

For both of these reasons your average super-geek is bound to be completely underwhelmed by this advertising farce. In fact, a friend of mine hit the roof when he saw the happy dancing ad and would not stop grumbling until he found me a link to the video it had ripped off (gotta love those geeks - and Google).

So, I think we can conclude Telecom are not trying to appeal to those that already have mobile internet. They must be trying to find new users - so why are these ads so damn confusing!?!

Why do Telecom continue to treat us like idiots?
Look at all our shiny new technology!

No, Telecom. Just....no.

It's common knowledge that New Zealand is being drip-fed outdated technology at a premium price. I understand that we don't have the population to cover the costs of new infrastructure, but why do they think we are going to believe everything they bring us is a cutting edge innovation? Please Telecom, just stop it. We resent you for believing we are that ignorant.

The only thing they did right

This advertising campaign looks fun. It features an upbeat song by a Kiwi band and people doing exciting things. You want to take an interest in the campaign (despite the associate who looks frightened while he's dancing). But you see, now that you've starting humming the catchy jingle while thinking of the fun Friday evening office antics, and people skydiving with laptops, you've already forgotten what it's about again, haven't you?

Don't worry about it. It's not worth remembering.